SarahRosie (celes720) wrote in sharedmadness,

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Beyond Saving, part 22

Ho-kay. Everything in balance, right?

Well, one thing’s for sure: I can’t be dead.

It hurts to damn much.

I know I could let the drugs pull me back under, away from the pain, away from the loss, away from everything, but I don’t want to. I want to see Hudson. I know that if I see her, all this will have been worth it. All of this will be over.

Holding that thought in my mind, I fight against the lassitude, forcing my eyes open.

Bright purple walls.

It’s Smallville. Hell would have Pepto Bismol pink walls.

Smiling slightly, I expend the supreme amount of energy it takes to turn my head to the side, peering into the shadows left in the room due to the low angle of the setting sun. I feel the smile slowly melt off my face when I don’t find her anywhere in the room.

Did I dream the last part? The part where we flew through the air?

Oh, God.

I wasn’t strong enough.

I shot my father, but I couldn’t get her out of that room. We must have lay there for hours until someone found us, got us out. But by then Hudson would have been dead from Kryptonite exposure. I shouldn’t have hesitated, shouldn’t have doubted my own eyes. I should have guessed my father was behind everything from the very beginning. I should have known. My pride blinded me to the truth. I was so busy fighting with Hudson, struggling against her, that I missed all the signs.

Now she’s dead.

And it’s all my fault.

The hero’s not supposed to die, damn it.

I should have died, not her. Never her.


I start at the tentative voice, so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I missed a step. Stupid. I should learn to pay more attention, things like that could get someone killed.

“How are you feeling, young man?”

I know that voice.

Blinking my eyes into focus, I see the familiar red hair of Hudson’s mother, now shot through with steel gray. She’ll be beautiful until the day she dies, just like her daughter.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Kent.” The words spill out before I can swallow them. “It’s all my fault.”

“Lex.” She rolls her eyes at me, pulling a chair up to the side of my bed. “You’ve made some idiotic decisions in your life, but I think there’s more than enough blame to spread around here.”

What kind of drugs are they giving me?

“I’m serious, Lex.” Patting my arm, she carefully avoids hitting the IV line. “Jonathan and I, well, we’re not innocent in this. Frankly, neither is Hudson.”

“Your daughter is dead, and I think the blame lies solely on my shoulders for that.”

She gapes at me, her mouth hanging slack. “Lex, I...”

“I think I’ve caused enough damage to your family, Mrs. Kent. You should leave.” Closing my eyes, I turn my head away.

“I’m going to beat her ass.” Martha squeezes my arm, her words terse. “Lex, she’s not dead. But, I can assure you, she’s going to wish she was when I get my hands on her.”

Not. Dead.


“She’s fine, baby.” I feel her cool hand against my forehead, stroking lightly across my scalp. “She’s tired. It took a lot out of her, but she’s fine.”

Swallowing, I squeeze my eyes tightly shut against the tears I feel. “Where is she?”

“I’m not sure.” Her hand leaves my head to rest lightly on my shoulder. “She blames herself. For your hand.”

Oh, Jesus.

My hand?

I have no one to blame but myself for that.

“That’s not her fault.”

“And it’s not yours either, young man.”

“Are you psychic?”

She laughs at that, the sound washing over me like silver. “No, but I raised H.C. Kent, the biggest moper in the world. I know a mope when I see one coming.”

I think I could very easily come to love Martha Kent.

I used to wish my own mother were still alive, to guide me. But not any more. It’s strange to realize the things you once wished for have somehow fallen along the wayside. My mother loved my father, maybe she didn’t know what kind of monster he was, or maybe she loved him in spite of that, but this would have killed her.

“‘Pride goeth before a fall.’”

“I’m not going to sit here and verbally fence with you, Lex. Your father was a short-sighted, little man. I’m trusting that the son he donated his DNA to is a better man than he. ” Patting my arm again, she rises to her feet. “Visiting hours are nearly over, I should go.”

“Mrs. Kent, thank you.”

She smiles at that, her cheeks heating prettily. “No need to thank me, Lex. And I think you should call me Martha since I’m going to go tan my daughter’s hide for you.” Not waiting for an answer, she leaves the room, quietly closing the door behind her.

Hope is a strange thing.

I don’t want to believe. I don’t want to hope.

It only gets me hurt in the end.

But I’m still putting my money on Martha.

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Go, Mama Kent! Go! I want to see her lay into Hudson big time! Oh. Wait. I have to write that, don't I??


Ah, well. I wonder how long Hudson is going to mope... Hmmmm.

Brilliant, my dear! Lex is all in pain, thinking she's dead. Then so happy to hear that she's alive. And there's that little part of him that believes it might all work out in the end!


*huggles you*
I flove MamaKent. She's the best mommy EVER! And Hudson's so gonna get it! I know that you'll do a good job of it, dear heart.

I have faith.


I think Lex always has hope, and that's possibly the saddest thing ever. He hopes when he should let go, when everything that he's seen, everything that he knows, tells him to give up hope, he keeps hoping. And gets the shit stomped out of him.

It's sad.


But it leaves the door open, if she'll only look.

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I love her.

She's an awesome Mommy. :)
I love Martha, I mean seriously LOVE MARTHA.

And Lex.

Right now, however, I want to help Martha tan Hudson's ass.

*G* This is so very good.
I think Martha's the true hero of this story. She really just saved their cookies, otherwise they'd be at each other for the rest eternity, more than likely.

And Lex probably needs to be whacked as well - he probably would have just let Hudson go off into the ether, convinced he was saving her from himself. For all the times he professes to not be a martyr, his martyr complex is every bit as big as Hudson's. MTB, baby!

Thank you much, babes!
*faints* -- no, wait -- *dances*

Gotta love, Martha!

So, the first thing he wants to see is Hudson, and we know she's not there and *arg* and then he thinks she's dead!! *double arg* but, for once, someone's there when and where they ought to be. *hugs Martha*

Oh, and loved: What kind of drugs are they giving me? that was so Lex!

Is it too early to relax?
Martha rocks my socks.

Like, for serious. :)

Is it too early to relax?

Mmmm... Probably. These two are stubborn like nothing in the world. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. The confuse ME, and I'm writing them! lol

Thanks for all the great compliments, hon!!

I found a link to this in [Unknown LJ tag]'s LJ this moring and I've spent a good amount of my afternoon and evening reading every single part of this WIP.

I'm just amazed at what the two of you have come up with and I don't think I'm able to express how much I love this right now, having finished reading everything only a few minutes ago and I'm still a little bit overwhelmed with everything that has happened. :)

You and Ae are doing a fabulous job with this and I cannot wait to see what happens next.
Bah! I can't stand the fact that we can't edit comments.

Anyway, what I ment to say was that I found the link in aelora's LJ. :)
Thank you so much, babes! What a wonderful compliment!!

I know this has been a real labor of love for both aelora and I. She was already so attached to Hudson when we began in the summer, and I really feel like she's become a part of me as well. And poor Lex - I mean, what can I say? He's wormed his way so deeply into my heart that I don't think I'll ever get him out.

I'm so happy that you're enjoying it as much as we are!

Kilronan had the link to this and I've just spent the last two hours reading the whole thing. Please, let these two knuckleheads listen to Martha!



Hopefully they will, but those two crazy kids are the most stubborn people I've ever met.

Thanks for giving up your time to read, though! I'm all atwitter. :) :)

Hokay. First off, thanks to both of you for not letting me study when I desperately need to for this test I have tomorrow. Secondly, thanks a lot for breaking my heart multiple times during the story. Thanks for making me read hetfics repeatedly *glares at aelora*, like I really needed that kink; all my friends look at me funny now.I'm seriously glad I'm so dense and stumbled upon this just today, because you seriously would've killed me with the waiting. And here's for my most fave part of the story:

I start toward the bedroom to change back into my uniform. Stopping, I glance back at Batman and Louis.

“What is it?” Bruce asks.

“He’s got to pay, do you understand?” I ask quietly. “And anyone who is with him. They’re all going to pay.”

Batman and Louis look at one another quietly as I turn and disappear into my bedroom.

Here was where I thought the shit had hit the fan. I could just picture Hudson with this maniac glint in her eye and Bruce and Louis going 'Oh damn!' :D.
*bounces* YAY!!!!! OMG!!! YAY!! Martha.. *sigh* I love her..

Lex needs and wants her.. how in the world can she really believe that he is better off without her? She needs somebody to hit her in the head and make her righ!

Martha Kent can be so awesome if she's well written.

"My mother loved my father, maybe she didn’t know what kind of monster he was, or maybe she loved him in spite of that..." -- I love how well this line can relate to Hudson and Lex.

"And I think you should call me Martha since I’m going to go tan my daughter’s hide for you." -- I did mention loving Martha, right?